Bridezilla
by blueeyes67
Summary: When Santana turns on Bridezillas the last thing she expects to see is this.
1. Chapter 1: Tv

Today was probably the most annoying day of my entire life. First, I got in at work and Jay had a diva, all out ** fit, at me for being late. It was just fitting today, so it wasn't like I was late for the show, that would be understandable. And then I try on the stupid gown, and it's too big on the hips, which means the hole damn dress doesn't fit. And then Jay got ** off about that, cause it's supposed to be skin tight. Whatever, it's not like modeling was my first pick.

So then I get off work and go to meet Rachel at the café we love. I finally get there after a my tire went flat, and I had to try and push it there, all by myself. As soon as I arrive, I look at our table and she's not there. She texts me, freaking texts me, that she has to cancel. All day she's been ** about Lauren and Puck's engagement, and how we just have to talk after work, and she texts me to cancel. She went all crazy when she thought Puck still liked her since he did the intervention thing about her nose, and then she saw the newspaper with their engagement on it. The intervention was like three years ago, but she thought that he was trying to send her a sign or something. Point it, she loves him and he loves Lauren. That's what we here in Lima Heights call one huge ** mess.

My ** excuse of a day, is why I skip my daily routine workout on my new treadmill. Well that, and it broke, piece of **. So I'll just sit down and forget my total screwed up day, and I decide to watch some other crazy ** deal with their screwed up day, that makes mine look nice. It's pretty funny to laugh at them as they go nuts over the wrong color mints for the goody bags or something like that. Only one word could explain what I'm talking about: Bridezillas. I flop down on my brown leather couch and press the button on the remote. Then I go through the TV listing till I find it. My TV screen is changed to the title and my room fills with the voice of the host.

"This is a special episode we call BIG fits. Our larger brides show us that they can throw just as big fits as the 'perfect little princesses'. Our first bride is from a small town in Ohio called Lima." What! Maybe I know the pysco. Oh, maybe its Hillary. She just got engaged to that Dylan guy and she is pretty weird. Or that girl from Macys…

Then the last person I would have guessed filled the screen. There sitting pretty-or as pretty as she could muster- right next to Puck, was Lauren. Holy **! I picked up my phone and called Rachel.

"Hi this is Rachel-"

"Rachel it's San. Oh my god! Turn on Bridzillas right now. You won't believe it if I told you. You have to see this.-"

"And you reached my messaging system. Sorry I couldn't reach you but please leave a message so I know the urgency in which to call you back. Thanks."

Damn it Rachel! Well I had to know what happened right? So I just turned my attention back to the screen. This is the kinda moment when I wished I listened to the nerd at Best Buy who told me a DVR recording whatever it's called would be very ideal to my busy schedule.

"Well I'm Lauren and this is Puck. Were from Lima, Ohio. We met in the only high school we have here in this cow town," she says gauntly and scoffs at the last part. Then she turns her head in Puck's direction, "He was quite the ladies man back then. And we have never had a bump in the road." She smirks and so does he.

Then Puck adds, "We're a badass couple." Lauren nudges him yelling at him that this is about the bride, not the groom, and he needs to shut her pie hole. I laughs at that, and not just Lauren scolding him on national television, but the part before that. They aren't even close to as awesomely bad ** as Puckleberry. And I take credit for creating that. Well I suppose I didn't really create Puckleberry, but I didn't stop them, I didn't even try. But that's probably coz I didn't think they'd get any where. I hated Rachel back then.

Then the screen goes to Lauren screaming at the florist for giving lilies instead of baby's breath in her practice bouquet, "You stupid idiotic bimbo! Do you not understand English!" A frown appears on my face, coz the 'stupid idiotic bimbo,' is Brittany. Yeah, that's right, pinky linkin' Brittany.

The screen goes to a whole bunch of other times she yelling and screaming about stupid things, then it goes to the wedding day. I sit up straighter as I realize, I'm pretty damn glad Rachel didn't pick up her phone. It would be like watching her fate being sealed. And then all hell breaks loose, and I'm glad they didn't invite me, not like I would have gone anyway.

**A/N: hey guys hope you like it. But please let me know in a review or a PM. It inspires me to write more. A huge thanks to MissMandyPandy for Betaing my story!:D**


	2. Chapter 2: Pride

Santana rubbed her palms together in anticipation. The commercials seemed to drag on forever, until the show finally came back.

"Puck, are you ** me? You stupid old arrogant fool! This is MY day!" Lauren screamed at Puck's mom. Holy **. This is not going to end pretty. Puck's mom just turned to Puck and placed her wrinkled hand on his shoulder. She looked him straight in the eyes, looking him over as if she was trying to figure something out.

"Noah, are you sure this is what you want? Honestly, if I were you, I would walk away now. As your mother I've watched you grow from that tiny little baby, to a big strong man, and I'm proud of you. Pride has always been something you've held onto tightly, ever since you were just a toddler. But now I feel like it's been taken away from you. Your religion, your family, your friends. I feel if you do this I can't watch you." Her wise face smiled sadly as a tear ran down her flushed cheek. She kissed her son on the cheek and turned away.

Abigail, Puck's sister, walked up to Lauren and gave her the best glare she had. If looks could kill, Lauren would be laying on the floor. "You suck," Abigail said bluntly and sprinted away to catch up with her mom. Puck ran a hand through his Mohawk, trying to put together what just happened.

"I'm going to KILL her!" Lauren screamed as she stopped her foot and threw her veil down on the ground. She turned to Puck eyes blazing with rage, as he ponders what his Mom just said. He felt trapped. He'd always been trapped. He was always the second choice. Quinn chose Finn, Rachel chose Finn, Mercedes chose Sam, and Santana chose Brittany. Every single girl he ever dated seemed to fall in love with someone else. He was just something to occupy the space, when the person they loved was busy, or at least, that's how it seemed like. But he was Lauren first choice. He wanted to be someone's something. And Lauren didn't have any other guys lining up for her. So he settled for Lauren, but honestly, she wasn't his first choice either.

Lauren made him feel ashamed of himself. He was Jewish, but yet, here he was getting married in a Catholic church. He didn't go to synagogue anymore cause Lauren never let him and forced him into cleaning their apartment.

He hardly saw his family anymore. They used to have Friday breakfast with his mom and sister. It was like their tradition. Now he has to sneak out on Friday morning while Lauren's sleeping. Even on his birthday he didn't get to see his mom cause Lauren didn't want to 'share him.'

She never let him see his friends. She'd say Rachel and Santana were after him, and wanted in his pants. He missed them.

"I can't do this," Puck said as he tore himself away from his thoughts to look at Lauren.

"What! What the hell are talking about! PUCK!" she screamed at him.

"I don't love you," he said honestly as he stared straight into Lauren icy blue eyes. Then he smiled, and turned, walking down the isle, "I think I love someone else." He didn't even look back as he walked out the doors of the church, every eye across America on him.

**A/N: hope you guys enjoyed it. Reviews are much welcome.:D**


	3. Chapter 3:Liars

**A/N: Hey guys this is my edited version and somehow I lost my A/N from before so hopefully everyone saw my responses to their reviews if not I'll just Pm you. Enjoy the chapter.:D**

I got up from the couch and walked over to where my keys were, hanging next to the door. I quickly shut my door behind me as I darted to my car. I pushed the keys in the ignition and broke a few laws getting to Rachel's house. Once I got there I hurriedly pushed my door open and leapt out. I got up to the door and grabbed the door knob and tried opening it but it was locked. Damn it Rach! I banged my knuckles on the door like a manic.

When the door was finally pushed open by Rachel I sped in dragging her to the living room. I almost didn't even laugh at her with her hair in a messy bun on the top of her head with green lotion stuff smeared all over her face. I smirked and scoffed as I flipped through the channels on her TV. Once I got to Bridezillas I pushed her down on the chair and pointed my finger toward the screen. I was so out of breath I could barely even explain myself.

"Santana, hat the hell are you doing? I know you like this 'show' but don't you have a TV? If it broke I'm sure you could see a rerun once it was fixed. If you were so desperate could you at least have called. I was kinda busy. So-" Rachel started on one of her rants.

"Rach for once just…shut up. Please. Watch it," Santana huffed at with a sad look on her face. Rachel gave her a glare and looked at the TV.

"If you insist I watch it, I reluctantly will," Rachel said with a pout on her face as she focused in on the scene playing out in front of her. Lauren came was screaming and chasing after a certain mohawked boy. "Santana I don't want to see this." Rachel said sadly as she started to get up from the chair. Santana who was sitting next to her grabbed her wrist and tugged on to it. "I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT, SANTANA!" Rachel yelled as tears poured down her cheeks. "I can't see it. I'm not going to see it," she said as she wiped at the tears that still fiercely streamed down her face.

"No it's not bad its good. I promise!" Santana pleaded to Rachel who gave her a disgusted look.

"Good? You think good is having the boy I love marry her!" Rachel squealed as she tried turning on her heel to storm up to her room.

"No it's not what it looks like! Just watch it!" Santana said as she fell to the floor still holding onto Rachel's wrist as Rachel tried harshly to get away from Santana and her own TV.

"NO! Look there probably talking about how much they love each other and **," Rachel said as she looked up at the TV and noticed Lauren was screaming. "Wait," she said as she walked over to the chair again this time dragging Santana along with her. Santana still holding onto to Rachel cause she thought she was still trying to get away. When she notice Rachel was watching it she quickly let go and scrabbled to her feet. Looking down at Rachel watching her closely.

"PUCK wait ,wait, wait, WAIT!" Lauren said as she grouped for any limb of Puck to hold onto. "Don't leave me!" she said as her face grew bright red as she notices the cameras where getting closes-ups of the whole problem. She slammed her fist into the camera and it cracked but you could still see slightly.

She stopped dead in her pursuit after Puck. Then her eyes turned from cold to deadly and defeated.

"It's Rachel. Right? You love her not me," she said anger but still sad. When nothing came back from Puck and he kept walking she threw her hands up in the air." I knew you cheated on me with her! You liar," she broke into fake sobs. In Lauren's mind if he was going to be walking out on her he won't get the last word. She's not going to have him go back to his normal life without a few people hating him for cheating. Or at least she had them thinking he cheated. And the best thing is this is a national show. With her hands covering her face no one can see her wicked smile.

Rachel muted the TV as the show faded to commercial. She looked at Santana, "That's why you wanted me to watch it."


	4. Chapter 4: Dress

A/N: Sorry for the super over dueness (?) of this story. Well any-who read on. Not sure this will go into my origanal chapter, caus eI'm using a old un-updated libary computer. so this is my next chapter in Bridezilla. Thanks.:)

Disclaimer: If I owned Glee it won't have the ridiculously stupid plot line. Only thing I own here is my plot line.

Santana dragged Rachel up to a standing position after pulling her self up by cluthching at the edges of the couch.

"Thanks for the help Rach." Santana huffed. She glared towards Rachel as , she just stared wide eyed towards the TV screen that flipped to commercials. Noticing Rachel wasn't going to respond. She decided to fill in her own void of conversation. " Nooo, thank you Santana! You beautiful Latina goddess! Your clever caring ways had led me to discover my lovely Noah is single again and he loves meeee! I could just hug you to death!" She wrapped her arms around her self and mock squeezed herself. She pulled her arms down and turned Rachel to face her. She gazed into her muddy hopeful ones with piercing dark ones. Santana's eyebrows knit together in total confusion.

" Hello this is an earthling speaking she'd like to call down her earthling friend from space!" she waved her hands close to Rachel's face. Causing her hair to shift. " What the hell are you doing still standing there!" Now it was Rachel's turn to knit her eyebrows. Finally breaking the spell of her stillness. " get your tiny ass up the stairs! You got to get done!" A few seconds passed and Rachel still stood there like a damn mannequin. " Gooooo!" She pushed Rachel towards the stairs. Rachel feet seemed to manage to stutter up the steps as Santana was hot on her heels.

" Ugly, Ugly, Ewww, Ugly, Rachel! You would actually war this disgusting thing! This should be handed over to the military to be delivered in a sealed container to the fiery pits of hell and tossed in." She opened Rachel's window and threw the plaid wool sweater dress that reached her ankles out. " Damn." Santana turned back and continued to raid Rachel's closet for something decent to wear. She searched hurriedly because they were running out of time. She knew Noah , he was one of her best friends. If she were him she'd be on her way right now. But she wouldn't be as dumb-ass as to engaged to that liar.

She was about to give up when she saw a box on her top shelf. She pulled it down and opened it up. She picked up a tight black lace mini. It was just casual enough to look like she wasn't trying, but cute as anything. She considered 'borrowing' it later. She spun around on her heel and faced Rachel who was now cross legged on her bed.

" Where is this from?" Santana questioned.

Rachel shrugged and said causally " Sam and Quinn's wedding. You know the one you weren't invited to because the week before you called Quinn some nasty things." She tilted her head with a knowing look. Busted.

" Whatever. She was being a bitch. I say it how it is. But that's besides the point. Put it on." She tossed it towards Rachel and made her way to her shoe rack. She found the perfect pair of flats in a second. She clutched the shoes with their gray silk with mock black rhinestones at the tip of the shoe. She tossed them to Rachel too.

She was just brushing out Rachel's hair when they heard a knock at the door.

" I got it" they both called out at the same time.

A/N: hoped you didn't hate it. Love your reviews they inspire me.


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